Newborn bonding time is a precious time. That first cuddle with your child whether you are a biological or adopting parent is a moment you will never forget. But it might not be all you expect; all that you imagined. That rush of feeling of bonding might happen in a completely random place and moment.
My kids are now older and those newborn days are a distant memory, but I want to reminisce about when we brought our first home and share it with you. Here is our special story…
This story is part of our Newborn series
Finding Quiet Newborn Bonding Time After the Chaos
Mummy (4 days parenting)
We are back in our house.
The same house that I left 5 days ago. It looks the same. It smells the same. It’s tidier than usual. Stiller than usual.
But I am not. I don’t feel the same. Those 5 days have changed me forever.
And the ‘change’ is currently sitting in his car seat at the top of the stairs.
Asleep. Calm. Taking everything in his stride in a way that I am totally not.
He’s at the top of the stairs because I don’t know where he ‘goes’ yet. There is no routine to our coming home because this is the first time.
The first time he has come home. And I don’t know where to put him. To put myself.
He’s not in his brand new going home outfit because everything we bought was too small. So after squeezing him into his newborn outfit for a few hours, Daddy was quickly dispatched home to find the pile of clothes kindly lent to us from a friend, hoping to find something that would fit.
He’s not wrapped in the blanket knitted especially by his great-grandmother because it’s too hot. So instead of worrying about keeping him warm, we are doing the opposite.
So he’s just home. No special outfits. No welcoming fan-fare. We are just here. In the quiet. Alone.
Daddy is unpacking the last things from the car. And I’m just standing at the top of the stairs with our brand-new baby.
Wearing pyjamas and slippers because that is the only thing that is comfortable to wear after an unexpected emergency c-section.
The same pyjamas that I have been wearing for several days, but I don’t know how to change. What to change in to. My c-section scar is really sore and everything hurts. I want to cry but I don’t even know how to do that anymore.
And it would break the silence. The beautiful silence. After the chaos of hospital noise, failed breast-feeding attempts, sickness, blood transfusions, surgery and pain – so much pain. I just need the silence. In this moment.
Then he wakes. This stranger who I don’t know. Who I have barely held, not changed, not been able to feed. This new person who just blinks up at me. Calmly.
I shuffle across to him, slowly. The only pace I can manage now.
And for the first time, I lift him out of his car-seat and into my arms. No-one is watching us as we snuggle quietly for a moment. No-one is interrupting us as we breathe each-other in, having our first private bonding cuddle.
We are home.
More Information on Newborn Bonding Time
Instant bonding doesn’t always happen and if that is you right now, please don’t panic. Here is a helpful article about getting to know your baby.
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